Beauty from pain
by niffyou
Summary: Castiel has disappeared after the end of civil war in heaven. Dean misses his angel so badly. Will they be able to meet again? Destiel, hints of Samifer. ONESHOT.


**Hello everyone, I just wanted to share my story which I wrote for my lovely friend's birthday. Hope you will enjoy!  
**

* * *

_"Dean, you should sleep for at least a couple of hours." Castiel sighed, looking at his beloved with concern._

_"You, too, Cas." Dean rolled his eyes and laughed quietly when he saw angel's confused face. _

_"You know, I don't sleep."_

_"Yeah, I know. But you also know that I can't let myself fall asleep. No when the demons are out there and Sammy is lying here with a fever."_

_"But De-" Castiel stood up and tried to say something more. _

_"No, Cas! The end of the discussion." He said impatiently but before he managed to do anything else, Cas leaned, pulled him closer and planted a soft kiss on his lips. _

_"I'll watch over you. The both of you." He promised lovingly, looking into Dean's eyes. _

_Dean opened his mouth but didn't say anything for a few minutes. He didn't know what to say. He has always hated what Cas has been doing to him. How he changed him. _

_"I love you." He whispered eventually, stood up and hugged his angel, closing his eyes and relaxed immediately. _

_"I know. I love you, too, Dean."_

"Dean, Dean!" Sam was trying to bring him back from wherever he was in his mind.  
"W-What?" The older Winchester gazed at him absently after a few minutes. "Did you say something?"

"Yeah." He laughed sarcastically but his eyes filled with worry almost immediately. "Are you sure we can leave you alone?"

"Yeah, Sammy, I'm not a child anymore. I can stay in a freaking motel for a couple of hours."

"We can always stay with you, sweetie." Lucifer mocked even though he was worried himself. He knew how Dean has been suffering since Castiel wasn't there.

"There's no need to, mother. Better take your wife on a date already."

"You're unbelievable." Sam snorted and headed for the door, taking Lucifer's hand. "We'll be back soon." He said uncertainly while the devil sent Dean a kiss.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Have fun." The hunter had waved at them just before they closed the door.

He groaned, glancing at the fireplace, angry that all the memories of Castiel took control over him again. He has been longing for his angel so fucking much. Each day has been a misery since the end of the last battle…

It was nearly five months after the civil war in heaven. And even though Castiel's army has won, the angel himself was nowhere to be found. Dean remembered perfectly the moment when Lucifer said that his brother had disappeared. He remembered all the time they had been looking for him. He remembered all the pain he had been feeling. He still was feeling it.

But he didn't want to show it as he didn't want to worry his little brother and destroy his peace. Sam has already suffered way too much in hell, he deserved some happiness. Luckily, he found his own angel who happened to be the devil as well. Or maybe it was rather Lucifer who found him. In any case, it didn't matter. The important thing was that they loved each other. And Dean had to admit that he was wrong about their relationship and the devil himself. Fortunately, he had realized it before the war and by that he had no problems with cooperating with Lucifer during all the battles.  
Meanwhile, they have also got closer and became sort of a family. Lucifer was like a brother to Dean who would give his life for him. But of course, neither of them would never admit it.

The hunter sighed again while drinking his beer and then turned on the TV. However, he wasn't able to even slightly concentrate on anything. He stood up and looked at the mirror but regretted it instantly as he saw the reflection of his arm. He touched the Castiel's handprint softly and closed his eyes when the painful memories overtook him one more time.  
_  
"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition."_

Dean felt his heart beating faster just at the thought of Castiel's manly voice and sexy body. Not to mention his beautiful face and charming smile. He still remembered the first time they have met. All that confusion and strange feelings brought by the angel. All those doubts about Winchester's sexual orientation. All that warm inside his heart.

"Dammit!" He put on a coat and went outside, thinking that maybe the cool air would help him to calm down and forget about the past for at least a few moments. He left the motel and headed for a park, walking slowly through the snow. Dean sighed anew and sat on the bench even though it was all covered with white fluff. He was watching all the people who were playing in the snow with their children, partners and other members of a family.

Winchester was really envious of them as he missed being all this carefree and having fun with his friends. He just wanted to be able to smile genuinely once again, hold his beloved in his arms and spend Christmas with his family. But they still didn't have any clue about Castiel's current location. Damn, they didn't even know if he was still alive…

Dean shook his head violently and got up from the bench. He knew he couldn't let himself to think like that. He had to believe that Cas was still somewhere out there, that they would find him soon. He laid on the ground, closed his eyes and tried not to think about anything as he started making a snow angel. He just wanted to feel like a child once more, just wanted to be happy again. However, he couldn't get rid of Castiel's voice in his head, the way he has been saying Dean's name. With such a huge amount of love and –

"Dean?"

Winchester opened his eyes immediately and nearly screamed when he saw the beautiful wings so close to him.

"Cas?" He asked unbelievingly, examining his face with wide eyes.  
"Hello, Dean." He smiled hesitantly and gently caressed his cheek. "I missed you so much."

The hunter flipped them over in a fraction of a second.  
"What the fuck, Cas?! How did you get here? Where the hell have you been? We've been looking for you for a few months!" He shouted, being filled with a large amount of various emotions, ranging from fear to huge happiness.  
"I don't remember anything… I just woke up a few minutes ago in your motel room… Then I saw footprints on the snow and I knew they were yours… So I came here looking for you."

"I can't believe it…" Dean couldn't take his eyes off the angel, _his _angel. Only then he saw the bruises and the blood on his beautiful face. "You stupid son of a bitch…" He whispered through tears. "Come here already." He leaned and kissed him deeply, not caring about the taste of the blood in his mouth, the snow and anything else.

"I apologize for my unkempt appearance." Castiel muttered when they broke the kiss.  
Dean laughed softly and took his hand.

"I'm glad you didn't change."


End file.
